I read this today and thought it was spot on.
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You may also not understand why my child is absent so often. You may think I just need to do something a little more forceful to get him out of bed and on the bus. You may think that he is just being lazy or defiant and needs me to be firm, set stronger limits, or implement some consequences for his inability to be normal and just come to school.
You think this will solve the problem. Just punish him, and he will learn to behave.
Sometimes I privately laugh at all your suggestions that you think will be a quick fix to a developmental brain change in my child. When I’m tired from parenting a severely traumatized child and feeling especially frustrated, I will get defensive and try to explain how utterly useless your traditional parenting and classroom management advice is. I know that the majority of your best ideas on shaping behavior simply WILL NOT WORK for a child with trauma like mine.
This might make you think that I’m being unreasonable. Or that I’m just “one of those” parents.
And maybe I am.
Nevertheless…